HURLBURT FIELD, Fla. -- A deep sense of relief settled over Staff Sgt. Terrance Grasty.
It was April 18, 2018 and Grasty, an Air Force civil engineering non-commissioned officer, worked to break up concrete. In an undisclosed, deployed location in the Middle East, Grasty looked around at the Airmen around him, joking and laughing with one another as they worked.
“You are finally going to be happy,” he thought to himself. “Maybe they will listen and someone will understand you.”
For Grasty, nothing in particular triggered his decision to end his life that day. But, he said, after years of his own internal struggles and not seeking the help he needed, he felt that suicide was his only option.
After he finished work, Grasty made his way toward a bunker where he planned to take his life. Despite the gravity of his decision, he said he didn’t feel fear. Instead, he felt an unsettling calm.
“I reassured myself that it would be over soon and that I wouldn’t ever have to worry again,” he said.
Then, in the short walk to that bunker, six words from a close friend changed everything.
“Hey man, how are you doing?” a friend from his unit asked Grasty.
It wasn’t the question itself that saved Grasty’s life – it was the sincerity behind it, he explained.
“You can tell when something is genuine or fake,” he said. “I could tell he cared. I needed that in that moment, and he let me talk to keep myself alive.”
Six years later, Grasty is on the other side of the conversation. A civilian Preservation of the Force and Family (POTFF) representative embedded in the 1st Special Operations Maintenance Group at Hurlburt Field, Florida, his mission now is to provide support for Airmen.
As a POTFF community resource coordinator, Grasty works directly with Airmen to promote resilience and well-being, encouraging balance across the four pillars of Comprehensive Airmen Fitness: social, psychological, spiritual and physical health.
Looking back to the weeks, months and even years leading up to that day in April 2018, Grasty said personal stressors, including the pressures he faced in the Air Force, took a toll on his mental health. Additionally, he said he feared the stigma associated with seeking help in the military at that time.
“You would be treated differently if you sought out help,” he said. “I went my whole career without seeking help, until I wanted to kill myself.”
He went on to serve a total of 15 years before medically retiring from the Air Force in June 2021. In those 15 years, Grasty deployed six times, retrained from security forces to civil engineering and later personnel, with assignments at three duty stations.
Grasty noted that he is able to leverage his diverse Air Force background to better relate to the maintenance Airmen he supports as a POTFF representative.
“Security forces and maintenance kind of speak the same language,” Grasty explained. “Maintenance Airmen tend to put themselves on the backburner to get the job done, and I want to help change that mentality.”
Along with providing one-on-one support for 1st SOMXG Airmen, Grasty serves as an instructor for the Hurlburt Field safeTALK program, a course that teaches Airmen how to identify the signs of suicide risk and how to seek help.
For Grasty, maintaining his own mental health is still a daily effort, but his work as a POTFF community resource coordinator gives him a sense of purpose. And, just as his friend once was for him, Grasty can now be a lifeline for others.
“It doesn’t take much to ask someone how they are doing - but asking can make all the difference.”